Industries and businesses move to regional areas雅思写作6分大作文与分数详解

雅思写作大作文题目

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to regional areas.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

政府鼓励企业从大城市前往郊区，其好处是否大于坏处？

雅思写作大作文范文

开头段

Industries and businesses are the primary concern in many cities since they make the town more congested and pollute the environment on the one hand,while creates job opportunities and contribute to the evolution of the town on the other hand.Many of the businesses are operated and encouraged in larger cities only.Allowing them to proceed to regional areas is a fantastic idea.I feel that it has more advantages than drawbacks.

虽然工业和商业创造工作机会并促进城镇发展，但它们也使城市变得更加拥堵并污染环境，因此它们是许多城市关心的主要问题。许多公司都只在大城市中运营。让它们前往郊区是个很好的主意。我觉得其好处大于坏处。

迁移的好处1

There are several benefits why businesses should move to regional locations,and the authorities must take initiatives to achieve that.The most important aspect is the development of regional areas.Setting up rural area enterprises will help create the necessary infrastructures like transportation facilities,roads,and electricity in the rural regions.Also,the region’s financial activity increases,and that will let the government take additional initiatives to develop this suburb place.

公司迁往郊区有许多好处。政府必须采取措施来实现它。最重要的方面就是郊区的发展。在郊外设置企业会创造出必要的基础设施，如交通、道路、电力等。除此之外，郊区的经济活动上升，会让政府采取更多措施发展该地区。

迁移的好处2

Regional offices are often valuable to expand businesses and decrease production and operating costs.Hence many big industries would be benefited from this.Again,the pressure on the large cities would reduce,reducing many serious issues such as pollutions,traffic jams,and waste management.

郊区政府对发展商业和降低生产运营成本也很有帮助。因此许多大型企业能够从中受益。此外，大城市的压力也会减少，降低诸如污染、交通堵塞以及垃圾管理等方面的问题。

迁移的坏处

Regardless of this,there are several disadvantages of transferring the businesses and industries to regional locations.One of the prominent drawbacks is the manipulation of natural resources.The business will use various sorts of resources like forests and water sources to cause environmental degradation such as pollution,climate change,and much more.Finally,moving the industry to another place involves a considerable amount of costs,and the businesses would not want to devote this naturally.

尽管如此，将企业搬迁到郊外也有许多缺陷。最明显的缺点是对自然资源的操纵。企业会使用诸如森林和水源等资源，进而引发环境退化，如污染、气候变化等。最后，企业搬迁涉及巨大的成本，企业不会自愿这么做。

结论

All in all,comparing the fantastic appearance and lousy look,I believe that the government must encourage the chosen businesses to move to regional areas where they would function in a much better fashion to enhance the economy and environment and inhabitants.

总的来说，比较优缺点之后，我认为政府应该鼓励特定的企业搬到郊外。在那里，他们能够更好的运营，并提升经济、环境和居民的生活水平。

给分原因

写作任务回应情况：5分

回应了题目所要求的对企业搬迁优缺点的讨论，但对优缺点的比较缺乏说服力。虽然提出了多个论点，但基本均未展开或者论证不充分，而且会出现无关的细节。与此同时，结论中提升环境的说法与前文论文有些矛盾。

连贯与衔接：6分

能够组织相应信息和论点，总体而言能够推动行文发展。但句子内、句子间的衔接有时过于机械。无法一贯清晰的使用指代。

词汇丰富程度：6分

使用足够的词汇开展写作任务，试图使用不常用的词汇，但有时使用的不准确（如manipulation of natural resources,financial activity increases）等。

语法多样性及准确性：6分

综合使用简单句式与复杂句式。虽然没有明显的语法错误，但句子太过杂糅，而且有重复的部分。